You know that feeling when you wake up that something is going to happen but don't know what!
well that's how i felt when i got up early to wake mum up for breakfast. This will be the last visit to the hospital this year and we're hoping that the blood mum will receive today will stay normal until well after the new year. I help mum up and wheel her to the bathroom and leave her to have a wash then help her get dressed, get her scarf and gloves and coat and wait for this ambulance. Mum thought it was going to be here about 8.30am but it didn't arrive till after 9am so she was in a bit of a panic.
I can feel an argument no 3 coming on
The door bell rings and when i open it two pathetic looking women that were paramedics said they were here for Brenda...one of them skipped and jumped past me strait into the living room ignoring my instructions the other with a wheel chair....erm excuses me i don't think you will be able to use the wheel chair do you not have the green chair??
Skippy said no no its all under control as she Skipp's to the bedroom... (oh dear god alive she is going to be a problem) i follow them both and Skippy has a little jump in front of mum making her jump out of her skin ( im getting concerned now) without asking how do you want to do this Skippy just grabs mums legs and lifts them!! HAY what are you trying to do? do you know she has DVTs dropping her legs and making her scream with pain i could have hit her my fingers were ready to curl round her bloody neck with her lack of treatment. Mum and Ted said they wanted the green chair but Skippy ignored them both in a cocky kind of manner. I had to get out of the bedroom cos i was ready to blow any minute. Standing outside the front door i could hear every wince and grone it was painful to listen to but i had to stand back. They both wheeled her out of the bedroom forward.
I was at boiling point now... Ted had asked them to wheel her out backwards but they didn't listen and pushed her out the front door forwards getting stuck as the wheels wouldn't go over the metal door frame at the bottom. Mum was pushed and shoved all ways and was pushed so far forwards she was nearly out of the chair. We told you to wheel her out backwards why wont you listen!?!? Mum was in distress now and as white as a sheet but they still wheeled her forwards towards the steps. Tipping her right over it was uncomforting to watch but they got her over the first lot of steps but got the blanket caught in the wheels but they were still pushing so i had to put a stop to this and tell them off... for gods sake why wont you listen to us? cant you see what your doing? other paramedics wheel backwards why don't you listen?
Skippy quipped and said we are not paramedics we're just drivers!!
Well all the more reason to listen to us then now please pull her backwards.
But They got stuck again and the wheel chair was nearly on its back and mum was in tears now.
Do you have to tilt it so far back!?!? cant you just lift it over the two steps?? once over mum was feeling sick and they wheeled her into the ambulance and asked me to come with them! erm no thanks after seeing what you did i wont feel safe with your driving as well!!
WELL YOU WONT FIND ANYWHERE TO PARK Skippy yelled!.. well i'll just have to take that risk.
You got here in one piece then
I met mum just as she was coming down the bed lift, she was on her way to get her blood crossed matched so went with her, soon we were back in leri ward day hospital to insert the cannula into her arm and fluid to open and clean her vein. 2 hours later and the blood was ready so i popped out for a smoke and to get something to eat. When i got back the ward sister had to take the needle out as her vein had blocked but had to call the this junior dr as she was the only one who could do it. Thankfully the blood was on its way in at long last.
Remember the boss who stopped me having blood?
Well she's over there mum whispered she is the one who decides who has blood and who doesn't.
Arian Gravel is her name and she made sure she went round all the patients in the room and avoided mum like the plague. Well she's not much of a boss if she cant come over and see if you were alright. It didn't matter how long i tried to catch her gaze she just didn't want to know.
She wasn't much to look at just a fat woman who likes to feel important every time her pager went off in her big fat sartorial.
Age concern
Soon i had to leave and let Ted come up. Jean from age concern comes round once a week to clean the house so someone had to be there while she does her job. Id met her once before and didn't much like her. you know when you get that feeling about someone? i don't get that feeling often but when i do it nags me. Once Ted left Jean came in while i was reading the paper and kept asking question after question about mum ( i felt like telling her whats it got to do with you! bloody nosey Parker) but i grudgingly kept civil with my head in the paper. 10 minutes later she had her coat on! are you off already? i thought you had to work till 1pm?
No! Ted said i could go early as ive got a cold oh bye then. Not that it mattered to me as i had things to do myself.
You get a bit of snow and there's chaos you catch a cold and your dying.
Argument no 4
I knew what i was making for dinner but every tin opener mum had didn't work even the electric one had packed up and im not going to struggle on Christmas day with broken tin openers i'll just have to buy one at Morrison's. I hadn't been back long when mums other sister and her husband called (oh god not now not when im on my own) but she was ok! i made them a cuppa to give me time to think and i went in prepared for anything with a smile and came out the other end unscathed but she did mention would i be moving home for good, i knew it wouldn't take her long to say it, but no im not moving back cos if i did mum wouldn't get the help she needs and Ted he's relied on my cooking since ive been here! i just cant care for two people then there's pat she will be here Christmas eve till boxing day and home again on the 30th till the 4th i'll be stretched. Thinking about what i said made her realise that yeah your right there.
Just as i prepare dinner mum txted me to say she had good news txting back to find out what! and the phone rings thinking it was mum to tell me the good news only to find out it was the ward sister asking why i wasn't at the meeting in the day ward!
What meeting? i didn't know there was a meeting?
stammering over her words on weather not to tell me about it she said that we didn't have time to call you but your mother isn't going to die you know! she has options if only she would take them so there is nothing wrong with her ive seen her walking across the room and looking fit and healthy as ever!
what are you trying to tell me? that she made this all up to come into hospital every week because from my point of view she is sick and tired of been taken up there ever time and im trying to stop this palaver and get her into a routine at home and pain free! at the moment she is to weak to go through any operation and opening her up will just kill her.
I just phoned you to tell you the good news that's all and your mother is not dying and never was.
This conversation quickly turned into an argument and we both tried to get our point over on what was best for my mother. i quickly snapped back that if she had good news don't you think that she would want to tell me herself first instead of you poking your nose instead.
While this was going on mum phones on my Mobile and i quickly tell her i would phone her back!
Getting back to this conversation she demanded where i was all afternoon and what im doing?
What the hell has that got to do with you?? ive been with my mother for a whole month and not let her out of my sight, ive taken care of her fought her corner, got her transport to and from hospital, if i leave my mother alone then id rather discuss it with her and not you! now if you have anything else you want to shout at me about bring it on otherwise goodbye!!!
Im all worked up and raging and im making dinner! a dangerous combination for me and i cant understand why she just phoned me to tell me off!! ive done nothing wrong!
I txted mum that i wont phone her but wait till she got home.
6pm and dinner is ready and i see the ambulance arriving when she got in mum told me the good news and she wanted me to support her all the way. two consultants had visited her one of them were from guys hospital and he had high hopes for me he could improve my health with another operation in the future to cut some of my stomach away to stop the bleeding but i needed to get fit first and that is going to take time.
I hugged her and said she has my support in what ever she did. You have hope to cling on to now believe in it to keep you going.
Then i told her about the ward sister phoning me but couldn't finish as Yvonne walked in to give me a row i knew it was coming ( i bet that ward sister was strait onto Yvonne about the row we had) and took it gracefully but ive done nothing wrong!
Mum knows ive done nothing wrong even though the ward is small she heard some argument when the sister was in the office but didnt know who it was with, well it was moi. No wonder she kept asking me if you'd had been in touch at all! now i know why.
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